Winter

Today while I was driving, I came to this conclusion: I am in the Winter season of my life. Life does have seasons. I am experiencing the cold, harsh, yet essential, season of Winter. It is not just about the weather. It is the Winter of my soul.

In the Winter, everything changes. It all goes dormant. The flowers wilt and fade, the grass dies, the leaves are long gone. There is not much green left, and everything is covered in a blanket of emptiness and cold. In some places it snows and freezes. I am very aware of the Winter characteristics my life has taken on. The long stretches of time spent alone, without my husband to spend time with. The many nights slept next to nobody, and cuddled up next to nothing. The dozens of moments I desire to share with Isaac, such as when Phoenix says a new word, but he is not here to experience things with me. Winter has made its company here. It is in the biting air outside, first thing in the morning. It is in the empty space of my home late at night. It is in my heart when I ache to be held in Isaac's arms.

I was encouraged, and smiled to myself, when I remembered what happens after Winter is over: Spring. Springtime, when the trees come to life again, and the flowers bloom in an array of colors, and the sky looks bluer and the air smells sweeter and the world is fresh and new again. Springtime, when we celebrate new life, and welcome good things back again. When the cold of Winter is long forgotten and the warmth of Spring is welcomed home.

My Spring is coming. I pray that the Lord will bring it to me now, but I know in my heart that these things cannot be rushed. Because without Winter, how could I appreciate the beauty of Spring? Without Winter, how could I have the brightness to look forward to? And without Winter, how could I know the things I am meant to learn?

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven...God has made everything beautful in its time." Ecclesiastes 3:1,11