2009 In a Nutshell (So far)

Today is the last day of November. Tomorrow begins the last month of the year. I am reflecting on the year 2009, on all of its triumphs and successes, as well as the hard times and lessons learned. All in all it has been one of the best years of my life, in more ways than one.



In January I was a stay-at-home mom with a husband who worked from home, living in a comfortable 3 bedroom home with a great yard and my life felt safe. I did not know how great I had it. I thought I was grateful, but I was not. The first few months of the year passed by normally and as usual- gearing up for the Blitz football season, watching Phoenix grow and reach new milestones, spending lots of great time with my husband. February, March, and April breezed past us.



By May, we were out of money, selling our furniture to buy groceries and pay bills, and unsure of our future. In June an excellent job opportunity came up for Isaac to move across the country and sell alarm systems. So off we went with no more than a few suitcases full of the belongings we had left, to live in a sort-of furnished apartment in Springfield, Missouri. I did all that I could to make the place feel like home, adding candles and blankets and homemade meals (this was the summer I finally became comfortable in the kitchen, much to Isaac's relief). I can easily say this was the most difficult time in my life. It tested my marriage and my faith in God. I learned some incredible lessons, like how to really trust God and really love Him for who He is, not for what He gives me. When I had no television, no furniture of my own, no car, and no money, I was forced to choose. Either I would bloom where I was planted, or die on the spot. I chose to be joyful, although it wasn't easy. I'll never forget our first day there. We got off the airplane, ate some lunch with our friends and summer companions, Nate and Taryn, and then Isaac dropped me off at our new apartment and went off to start his first long day of work. There I was, just me and Phoenix. No toilet paper. No food in the fridge. No linens or towels or soap. Nothing to do but unpack our clothes and wait for Isaac in the emptiness.



I did a lot of waiting for Isaac that summer. He worked 6 days a week, for 12 hours or more a day. He would sleep in because he was exhausted from the day before, eat a little breakfast, shower, and head off to another day of knocking doors in the hot, humid weather we never quite got used to, and he would walk in the door around 9 or 10:00 at night, fall into bed, and repeat the next day. Sunday was his only day off. It was a trying, difficult, yet wonderful time for us. Things got better when the company moved us to Laredo, Texas, at the end of July. By that time we had saved enough money to buy a used car to drive to Texas in. We lived there for one month. The thing that stands out the most in my memory is the day we arrived in Laredo. We had just made the 15 hour drive from Missouri, only to discover we were in a one bedroom apartment, not a 2 bedroom like we were promised. I saw Nate and Taryn's apartment, a much more spacious 2 bedroom with much cooler features. I confess, ashamedly, that I was a brat that day. I complained to Isaac and cried and complained some more. It wasn't fair, I whined. Why do we have to be the ones stuck in a tiny one bedroom where Phoenix is going to practically be sleeping on top of us? It's not enough space, I cried. Why me? Why me!



It's a good thing that my tantrum lasted only a few hours. I felt ashamed before God for being so ungrateful, and for comparing myself to our friends. They deserved a nice place to stay. And I said sorry to Isaac, and to God, for being so ugly. I never complained again, and truly enjoyed that apartment very much once I got over myself.



The end of August brought us to Mesquite, Nevada. Isaac was beat from 3 months of door-to-door sales. After a 24-hour, non-stop drive with a one year old (don't ask me how we did it), we arrived on August 24th, Phoenix's birthday. It was nice to be back in the dry heat, back with family after a summer alone, back with our dogs, Max and Jack (although Jack suffered a car accident just days before we came home and still limps from it). Isaac took all of one week off before he got restless and started to look for work. Within days he took a job with VitaMix, selling these super nice blenders at Costcos on the west coast. I had no idea what we were getting into.



We lived with my in-laws for almost 3 months. This was a great experience for us. We continued to practice the art of living on less, and are still so thankful to Bubba and Wendy for feeding us and taking care of us. We shared a room with Phoenix, which we were used to at this point, and were so thankful to have a place to stay and spend time with family. In November, after weeks of asking God where He wanted us to live next, we found a home for rent just a few houses down from Isaac's parents (which is ironic, since Isaac said he did not want to live in Mesquite, and he did not want to live close to his parents. God must have a sense of humor). Mesquite works because it is close to the airport when Isaac has to leave for work, and also close to St. George where Isaac needs to beto take care of the Blitz. Plus I have family to see while he's away to curb my lonliness.



That brings us to today. Isaac still works for VitaMix. He is gone for more than 20 days of the month. He usually leaves for 10 days at a time, stays home for a few days, and goes back out to another show. Right now he is in California. He left the day after Thanksgiving and will be home December 7th.



This morning I was praying. I told God how lonely I am, and how I don't like being away from my husband like this. I told Him I am unsure of our future, and unsure of my purpose in this life. Then I remembered this past year, with all of its ups and downs, twists and turns. I remembered Missouri. I remembered Laredo. I remembered everything, how I saw none of it coming but was so thankful to experience all of it. The things I have learned have changed me completely, and I could have never learned these things any other way. We had to lose stuff and move and grow and change and start over, we needed to. My prayers turned to praise, for all that God has chosen to do in our lives this year. It has been unlike anything I could have ever planned. But by God's grace, we are in a small home again, with furniture of our own (that we salvaged from garage sales and the DI), a car to drive, our health, and each other. I am excited to see what December brings, and then what 2010 is like for us. Today is the last day of November, but the first day of the remainder of my short, crazy, happy, unpredictable life. I welcome all of it, the good and bad, because I know God has me right where He wants me, and He is going to use this time in my life to make me better, and to bring glory to His name.



Lord, thank You for 2009. I wouldn't have had it any other way. You really do know best.