Letter to Phoenix

I was reading one of my friend's blogs tonight, and she mentioned that she plans to write a letter to her daughter each year for her birthday to tell her about herself and how she feels about her. I decided to adopt this tradition and just finished writing my first letter to Phoenix. Here is an excerpt:

I want to tell you how special you are to me. You have helped Mommy grow up a lot, because I love you more than I love me, so it makes me want to take care of you no matter what. Even if Mommy is tired or sad, I still want to take special care of you and make sure you are happy. I really love to cuddle with you. You aren’t much of a cuddler, since you like to run and play, but when you do lay your little head on my shoulder and snuggle me, it feels like nothing else in the world. I love to take care of you, to feed you when you are hungry and give you a bath when you are dirty.

When Mommy and Daddy wanted to have a baby, Mommy prayed to God about it. I told Him how much I wanted to have a baby, and I asked Him to please give me a baby in my tummy. And God is always faithful. He did choose to give me a baby, and that baby was you! Even when you lived inside of my tummy, and I couldn’t see what you looked like, I was still your Mommy, and I still loved you with all my heart. I could feel you move inside there, and I could hear your heartbeat. I could feel you growing and getting stronger. I couldn’t wait for you to come into the world and be my Phoenix.

I am thankful that God, in His grace and wisdom, created me to be a woman and allowed me to be a wife and mother. I recognize that marriage and children are not a part of God's plan for every one of His children, but He did choose to gift me with a husband and a son. For that, I am eternally grateful, for all that it teaches me and for all the joy it brings me. I delight in the Lord because of His wisdom, His creativity, and His miraculous plans. When I look at Phoenix, I wonder how anybody could doubt the existence of our God.